My Grandad

Sometimes I get so scared and freaked out about not being able to afford to get my hair done, to go out with my friends, what is the right thing to say, the right people to hang out with, what to wear to which event....

Then I think about my grandad... possibly the greatest man alive - his heart is blind to the colour of skin, blind to a person's appearance. His heart speaks all languages, and isn't affected by the disability of judgement ....He lives in a world where helping others comes before helping himself.

His heart is what makes me want to be a better person. He himself is why I try never to judge a person by their job. His influence is why I pretty much talk to anyone that is near, why I buy the homeless man up on Ponsonby road muffins and a coffee, why I donate my clothes to women's refuge instead of selling them, the reason why I voice my opinion when it really matters and why I am who I am.

You see my grandad installed into my brain that it doesn't matter where you come from... what matters more in life is the journey and where you are heading.

He taught me that respecting others is the greatest gift you can give, and that laughter and love is the only medicine your soul needs in order to keep you well.

Little things

Please look in my eyes, For I have nothing to hide

As I wipe the slate clean and share this with you as I take on my own and the pain of your soul.

It's the little things in life That really matter.

These fine fine lines, make for trying times, show the life that I am living, these lines show the laughter and joy I have had in my life, The tears I have shed, The pain and hardship I have had to endure to get to where I am, the trying times that also make you stronger.

In life you need to take your strength, pass it around , and then move on.

Move on to bigger and better, never waste a moment thinking about the woulda coulda shoulda's in your life.

Don't for a second give up your time worrying about those that hurt you, brought you down, broke your heart. As hard as it seems to believe you do get through that pain that soul destroying heart ache does pass on, and leave you behind to move on only leaving memories and lessons for the future .

Trust me the little things in life .....They are what truly matter.

You are what gets me through the day

I love you Chch

I know times are tough at the moment. It has been a week since the horrific earthquake in Christchurch, and my heart goes out to everyone who has been affected.

I feel so selfish at times when I dwell over my problems.

In the scheme of things they are really so minimal it makes me drop my head in shame.

A day without laughter is a day wasted.

Never ever forget that

xox

Dear thoughts in my head...

You are constantly over working my brain and too be honest I would quite like to shut my eyes and dream right now. So If it isn't a hassle could you please let me know where the off switch is??

I promise you can start fresh first thing in the morning. I know you want to process the day without missing a moment in time,wonder how I could live with out love? Why it is a constant battle to say NO to your arch enemy black forest chocolate?

I know you love to think about the beach sand in your hair, the lazy summers, the fact that if you really really wanted to you could be a pro paddle board surfer even though you haven't tried it yet, The craziness you can get up to with your friends, thinking about the weekends (even though its the start of the week).

You love to think about the endings in movies before they happened wonder and ponder about your to - do list that is sitting on your desk at work still waiting to be finished, wonder what would TV be like if friends was still on.

You love to think about how you would love to be dancing every breathing moment instead of sitting at a desk, arguing to yourself about the current affairs in the world, thinking about what you are going to wear tomorrow, why your hair isn't the colour you want it to be, wonder why the jeans that fitted you last month some how don't seem to get past your thighs, why it is so hard to get the one person you want to sit up and notice you, and why oh why do they always bring you to tears?

I understand you have unanswered questions but the thing is....my eyes are sleepy and my dreams are knocking softly on the door waiting patiently to come in so if you don't mind I would like to say good night and see you in the morning.

Love

Me
xox

2011 The year of dreams

Just to let you know, I am taking the plunge and I am jumping into the pool of dreams and goals with my eyes wide open, arms flung out and head held high.

For this, is the year good things are going to happen. Not just for me but for you too.

Its at this exact moment I am going to stop worrying, procrastinating, feeling down. listening to others, this exact moment where I stop letting negative thoughts creep into my brain and whisper " you can't....you are fat....you are ugly" or whatever they love to try and make me think to stop me from doing what I do best. Being me :-)

Last year was just plain tragic. I did all the above, I worried, procrastinated for so long that I let opportunities pass me by, didn't tell the ones I loved how much they meant to me, cried for no apparent reason Mopped around just plain old feeling sorry for myself. I was in a lull that I could not break free from.

But not this year....

I have grabbed a one way ticket and jumping on the express train to the land where dreams come true, and I don't plan on getting off till I get there.

Life is ours to be spent not saved.......There is nothing that is impossible there was a time when we didn't have aeroplanes, hadn't been to the moon, we thought the earth was flat, So why not jump on the train with me :-) Like I said it is the year

xox

In the words of James Dean "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today. "